Thank You for NICU Nurses
I see Your Hand in their hands
Even as they pull on gloves
The endless blue snap
I see Your care in their care
The gentle touch
The scooping of her head
The stroking of her hair.
I hear Your Voice in their voices
The softness of tone
The kindness of instructions
The firm assurance of knowledge
The sweetness of empathy.
I see Your smile in their smiles
Always welcoming
Never wavering in their task
Never giving up on my child.
God, in this early morning,
Before the light,
During the long shift of night,
I wake
And I thank You
For NICU nurses.
When My Husband Must Go
Our child at home needs us
Only one of us can go
My husband, my rock, my encourager -
he goes.
I weep hysterically
No heroics here
I am dissolved
Things just get worse
The further along we go.
I cannot sleep
My brain will not rest
My strong embrace
My wheelchair-pusher
My it-will-be-ok speaker
is gone.
Twenty minutes by car
May well be oceans away.
And I am tossed by the wind
Every which way
Surrounded by dark, billowing clouds
Waves crashing on every side
The roar fills my ears
And I am undone.
I sink.
Then…
The lifeboat arrives.
I feel the prayers of friends
As they gradually lift
lift
lift
me up.
And as I float on top of the waves
See the clouds and foaming dark walls
Watch lightning flash on the horizon
But it highlights who stands at the helm:
The Captain.
Confident, calm.
Assurance on His ageless face.
Compassion resting on His brow.
He guides the boat tirelessly
And He has come to my aid.
When He gently pulls me onto the ship
I see the invitation in His eyes:
“Trust me, beloved?”
And I remember
The One who is more than my dear husband
The One who died to give me life
The One who created my baby girl
The oceans
The sky
The galaxies:
He is here with me.
I take big gulping breaths.
I look at the towering waves
Then I make my choice
Stare back into His eyes -
“Yes.”
Yes, I will trust.
Without him, I will drown.
What good is a drowned mom?
I will take His Hand
I will recite His words of love
I will tell myself the truth
When I eat
When I nurse
When I pump
When I hold her
When I lie down
My Captain is here
My Creator is Lord
My God is faithful.